I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
