can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
