Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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