if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
