This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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