Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize