STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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