I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
