Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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