There is no way he is gay with that hair.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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