I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
