Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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