Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
