I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
