My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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