Duck Duck Cougar?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
