Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
