we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As shirtless as possible
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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