Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what day is it and did you see me today?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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