Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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