So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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