whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
