My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
