Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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