This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
