You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
