We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
