I'm really into asian looking animals
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got inside last night via doggy door
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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