I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The air taste purple.
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