can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
