Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
