she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
