apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Panties = found
Randomize
