Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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