I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize