Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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