im drinking this country out of the recession.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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