god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
