pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When are your genitals available?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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