She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
