I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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