Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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