I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina