Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance