my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'