I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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