Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.

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(408): View more from California

she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again

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(308): View more from Nebraska

yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time

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(419): View more from Ohio

cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.

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(205): View more from Alabama

he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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(718): View more from New York

My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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(208): View more from Idaho

if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

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(915): View more from Texas

I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went

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