There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
