I'm drive I can fine osifer
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
