Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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