Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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