Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
