This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
