What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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