you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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