i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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