I heard we made out
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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