wanna go halves on a baby?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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