Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize