i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
