I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
