remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
