it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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