Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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