how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
