the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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